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My first fiction story: the bus journey

Tell us your stories, either real life or fictional.
Posts: 28
Joined: 11 Mar 2018, 13:43
Gender: Male - Male

Re: My first fiction story: the bus journey

Post by DrwhospideyNew » 06 Aug 2018, 23:12

I know its been a long time but its back! Please give feedback also.
This is part 15 because i put part 12 twice! (I Can be pretty stupid sometimes(and careless))
By a time jump i meant in Real life AND the story so...
Part 15: The Big Date: Destined
...6 months Later...
Today was a good day thought Max as he drove up to his home, he moved out back to his parents (It was nearer Lucy's place). Yes hes got a car now and learnt to drive. A lot had happened in six months...He got a promotion, a car and his affection for his beautiful girlfriend had grown to the peak. Things were starting to look up for Max. Today was the day he was going to ask Lucy to Marry him.
He asked her for a date in a really fancy restaurant yet he was still nervous. Is it too soon? He did not know but he did know - Lucy was the one for him.

He ran into the home shouting to his parents "Hi Mum! Hi Dad!" as he ran up the stairs, the door swinging shut right behind him. He heard his Mum say "Hello Darling"
Max got changed into his best, black suit. He then ran down the stairs and then out the door. The date was now.
"Max! I think you forgot something!"
Max ran back as his mother handed him the ring. He smiled and said "Thanks Mum" before running back to his car.

At the restaurant...

They were sitting down anxiously waiting for the waiter to appear so they could order the main course, they already the gigantic starter. Max was pretty much full but he did not know about Lucy. At some moments she looked like she was stuffed but at others she looked like she could eat a horse.
Max had to hand the ring to the waiter so he could put it into her glass (He'd seen in Spider-man 3 and thought it was a fantastic idea) but he had to do it without her looking.
The Waiter came, "Hello Young Coupel, Ow are vu today?" (He has a french accent)
Max then said "Fine Thanks! Can i gi-"
The Waiter then laughed "No! No! No! Missuer, i am very sorry but Ladies Premier or First to non French Spakers
Max then argued "Bu-"
The Waiter then said to Max "No buts! Ladies First, thats Ow it is"
Lucy was about to tell the Waiter his order when she felt a surge of gas come up her body. She had just enough time to turn the other way and cover her mouth with her hands but that could barely stifle the sound.
A good six and a half second burp came out her mouth as if it was a lions roar.
The Waiter laughed "Well from vere i come from that is a compliment to ze chef imself! What would you like then madame?"
Lucy told the waiter her order at the same time being embarrased of the eruption before.
Max told the Waiter his order and whispered to him "I have a ring and im going to ask her to marry me. Put it in her glass will you?"
The Waiter laughed "We" and walked away with his little pad and pencil in his hands.
Lucy asked Max "What was that all about?"
Max thought for a moment "it was a french joke"
Lucy felt she did not fully believe him and said "Come on lets here it"
Max then replied with "But only french people can ge-"
Lucy rolled her eyes "Just say it and if you make me laugh i will chug the bottle of Coke i have ordered and let out an almighty belch "
Max had been convinced but he had to think fast "What is do you call a frog eating a baguette?"
Lucy thought it was a bit random and said "I don't know"
Max then said "A French Person"
Lucy laughed loudly and said "That's more like a french-ist joke then a french joke."
The Waiter then came strolling over with his two bottles of coke "There you go. Hope zu enjoy!"
Max then whispered to Lucy "Ssh! He might hit you with his Baguette!"
Lucy laughed again before she did what she had to do and chugged the coke. She might as well get it over and done with.
It was Longer, Louder and So much more sexier accompanied by that erotic moan that followed it. It was a full 11 seconds. And they were the best 11 seconds of his life. Everyone in the room was looking at her but Lucy did care. She was with the love of her life - He would always make her laugh and do anything for her. Were they destined for each other? They were thinking the same thing as they both reached their heads across the table where the lips met and a kiss took place.
The Waiter Laughed "Love is in ze air!"

To be continued in Part 16: The Big date: Main Course

Also, Sorry if i offended any french people. It was just a harmless little joke like how many people say "English people always drink tea" (Yeah i'm English) and i have nothing against the french! Anyway till the next part!

Posts: 28
Joined: 11 Mar 2018, 13:43
Gender: Male - Male

Re: My first fiction story: the bus journey

Post by DrwhospideyNew » 07 Aug 2018, 15:03

Here is the next part:
part 16: The big date: The Main Course
10 minutes had passed since the kiss and both of them were getting anxious. Lucy was getting impatiant and Max was just plain nervous. This was it the big moment. A moment that would change their life.
The Waiter came with the food "Eres ze meal" he said as he passed it to the both of them. As he passed the wine glasses he winked at Max.

They Started eating their meals, about ten minutes passed and Lucy had not even looked at her glass.
Max asked "Are you gonna drink that?"
Lucy had her mouthful so she quickly followed and she did a long closed mouth burp.
Max could not help smile at this.
Lucy laughed "Are you trying to get me drunk?"
Max said "What No!"
Lucy said "Or trying to me burp?"
Max laughed "No just look at it"
Lucy could not see the ring but she shrugged and downed it to Max's suprise.
Max saw she was about to swallow it "STOP!"
Lucy stopped drinking "What is it?"
Max said "Look at the glass"
Lucy looked at the glass and lifted the ring out of it.
max smiled "Lucy, Will you marry me?"
Lucy was speechless "Yes" she finally said "I wi-"
Lucy laughed "Sorry well no i'm not sorry. You enjoyed that."
Max replied with "Well Yes i did and I love you"
Lucy replied "I love you too"
Toe be continued...

Posts: 28
Joined: 11 Mar 2018, 13:43
Gender: Male - Male

Re: My first fiction story: the bus journey

Post by DrwhospideyNew » 08 Aug 2018, 23:33

Part 17: The Big Date: Desert
10 minutes later...
Max was happily eating his desert and he'd done it! He was getting married to Lucy! The love of his life. Things could not have turned out better, he has come a long way from being that shy, nerdy teenager. He was proud of himself for once.
"Hello? Wake Up!" Said Lucy
Max suddenly looked up at Lucy "Oh! Sorry i dozed off into some thoughts there. You were saying?"
Lucy replied with "Oh this Desert is so fab. Thanks for taking me out tonight... Wait.."
Max laughed "You always know how to please me!"
Lucy laughed "No that was an accident i swear"
Max said "Well i agree this ice cream is amazing!"
Lucy replied "yep!"
Max asked "What one did you choose again?"
Lucy thought for a moment and then remembered "Ah yes! Tropical Sundae!"
Max stated "Sounds Exotic!"
Lucy laughed "It is. Wan't a bit?"
Max awnsered "Yeah alright"
Lucy hands him her spoon and puts it in his mouth
Max coughed "Well it is Exotic but not nessarcerily nice!"
Lucy replied "Well i like it though i think its making me gassy"
Max said "That is not a bad thing. Wan't some of mine?"
Lucy said "Nah i'm fine. Not a big fan of vanilla. Its just too bori-"
Max laughed "That one took me by suprise!"
Lucy laughed "Me two!"
To be continued...

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